Helmut Saves the World
Genre: Urban Fantasy
Publisher: Carina Press
Date of Publication: 3/10/14
Number of pages: 120.
My name is Helmut Haase and I'm one half of the Fog City Detective Agency--specifically, the half that pays all the bills. My partner, Shamus O'Sheehan, mostly drinks beer and naps. I keep him around because he's my friend, but also because he's a Druid. I'm just a detective, and there are plenty of those in Wudong, the Confederacy of Hesperia. There's not another Druid for miles.
We had it pretty good until the day we met Alek Pallas. He hired us to track down a thieving employee, and even though something was off, his big fat check was too much to pass up. But the man we found wasn't what we were led to believe, and neither was Alek.
I'm talking shape-shifters, fallen angels and a conspiracy involving the vicious Cretan Empire. At least we didn't die. Hope that doesn't ruin the story.
Why am I telling you all this? Someday I'd like some credit for saving the world. Maybe not the entire world, and maybe not alone, but I still deserve a medal. And perhaps a cash prize.
Carina Press | Amazon
Interview with Helmut Haase:
Michelle: I’m thrilled to be here today with Helmut Haase, one half of The Fog City Detective Agency. Helmut, thank you for agreeing to this interview. (Helmut is a shade over two meters with broad shoulders and close-cropped hair. For the interview, he wore a pair of stylish slacks and a white, open-collared shirt. The standard detective uniform of fedora and trench coat were spotted hanging on the coat rack.)
Helmut: The pleasure is all mine Michelle. I’m a big fan of your work. And let me just say, the photo they use next to your column doesn’t do you justice.
Michelle: That’s sweet of you to say. I think most of our readers know about you from your commercial, but for those who have no seen it - can you tell us a little bit about what you do?
Helmut: I’d be happy to Michelle. Shamus and I run a private detective agency, and we take cases big and small. Our fees may be a bit steeper then the competition, but there’s a reason for that. First off, I’m the best detective in the city. Probably in all of Hespera, but I don’t like to brag. (He was smiling a very charming smile when he said this, so I’m not sure if it was bragging or if he was just having a bit of fun with me.)
Second, and least important, my business partner Shamus is an honest-to gods Druid. On rare occasions, his skills come in hands.
Michelle: Speaking of Shamus, he is a big part of what makes your business so different from your competitors. Please tell my readers what it is like to work with and an actual Eirish Druid.
Helmut: Well, it’s mostly a pain in the (butt). He’s terribly lazy. I mean, he doesn’t even get out of bed until noon most days. I just do most of the work myself. It’s usually easier to do that then to try and motivate him. If I’m really stuck and have no alternative, I have to make sure I catch him in the proper mood. When he’s well fed and has just had his coffee is the best time.
Michelle: I see. But it must be interesting, some of the abilities he has. Is it true he can find someone just by touching an abject that was theirs?
Helmut: Sure. The more personal the object, the more accurate his readings are. He’s quite talented, but instead of honing his craft he spends his time doing things like teaching his dog Willie to (urinate) on my tires or bury my shoes. By the way, I see your left hand is free of hardware. Perhaps we can continue this
interview over dinner at my place. I’m an excellent cook.
(The formal interview ended there loyal readers, but let me tell you, Michelle swears he is an excellent cook - among other things.)
About the Author:
Moody and sarcastic at the best of times, the author should not be conversed with prior to his morning cup of coffee. He excels at sitting with his feet up and drinking coffee or beer while reading, but has yet to find someone willing to pay for that service. He has always been, and will always be, his mother’s favorite child. Has been known to dangle participles. Dreams of someday moving to a deserted island that supports coffee beans and hop vines.
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